Dating men is like “dating” books. Let me explain.
Don't judge a book by its cover. Well, I do. The first impression matters. Are you glossy or matte? Are you a paperback or a hardcover? With a dusty cover? Is it black-and-white or color? What is the title of the book? Do I want to open the book after seeing the cover? As much as I want to be open-minded, I judge a little or a lot.
Let's say the cover passes the gut check. Awesome. I am opening the book and am excited to read the first sentence of the first chapter on the first page. (The most common first message I receive on online dating websites is "hi." Imagine that in a book.) The first sentence should probably be more than one word but not take up the whole page, either, unless he is Virginia Woolf. Underwhelming and overwhelming are both undesirable. (Men, I don’t envy you. Also, for Bumble users, research says that women are not better at the first message either.) There is no rule to say what is an absolutely good first sentence. (This is where we channel our favorite writers which are totally based on individual tastes, of course.) It could be a split-second decision or a longer and slower read. If what is written intrigues me, I’ll keep reading.
After reading a few more pages, I can pretty quickly know if there is chemistry between me and the book. Sometimes, a book is easy to read, interesting, challenging, or impressive. Fiction and non-fiction are two different reading experiences. I know for sure that I typically don't like short stories. I have tried many times, and the outcome is the same, no matter how great the book is. The poor short-story book is not being read, gathering dust in a corner, and I hit myself in the head for buying books like it again!
Sometimes I can't get into a book even with a promising start. For whatever reason, there is no connection. I am reading the words but not getting anything interesting out of them. In that case, I put the book down and pass on it. I am in my forties. There is no point in reading every single book cover to cover. Who has that kind of time at my age?
When unsure, I sometimes give it a longer try and read a few more pages or chapters. I either get pleasantly surprised or stop reading. I find that I am mostly right listening to my gut. But taking risks and being open is part of the adventure.
Spending time reading a book is a precious activity. It's quality time for me. I’ll put everything aside and invest that time in a book. I feel like walking on air while reading a book that I connect with. Some book requires pacing, and with others, I lose sleep. Some stories are memorable while others make me anxious.
I’m always looking for the opportunity to be inspired, learn, and see something new in this world while cozying up with a cup of tea and a good book on a Saturday night. Times go by so fast when it's good. Even though I have my share of unmatched books, I will keep reading new books.
Okay, I know men are so much more than books - a few hours of commitment vs. potentially a lifetime. But go along with this for fun with a book nerd like me. <grin> My imagination is limited to the first few dates. Life after dating requires a whole different post.
For my single girlfriends, may you enjoy meeting books and men as much as I do in life if you want to.